Oh Please, Please, Read My Mind.

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I know I don't have the right words to tell you what I want.
I can make noises but that doesn't always work.
Most of the time you guess.
It's feed me, go for a walkie, cookie (oh that's sweet),
pee or poop time or something like that.
But when I just want attention, a little head rub y'know,
do you get it?

I wish you spoke dog.

What? They Had My Colors Done?

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It was just another trip to the groomer they said.
But when I got home and saw myself in the mirror,
I was horrified. My God, what did they do to me?
What will I tell the others at the dog park?
No one will take me seriously, I mean as a dog.
I'll bark. And they'll just laugh.
What'll I do?
I know.

I'll go live in San Francisco.

I Use The Pathetic Look.

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Sure I use it.
I use it all the time.
Why?
Because it works. If I want a cookie. If I want a walkie. Din-din?
You guessed it.
Does it wear out its effect? No, not at all.

They're simple folk.

"Can I Come Out Now?"

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What was that noise?
Was it a plane? Was it thunder? I hate thunder.
I shiver and shake and there's no music!
I gots to hide somewhere. Ahh, the couch has room for me.
Then I'll just peek out to see if anyone else survived.

Hey, why are they all laughing?

"They Call Me The Hound Of The Parking Lot"

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There I was, just sitting behind the wheel, something I love to do, waiting for my owner to come out from the market. I'm patient. Hey, what else is there to do? I could poop in the back seat but hey, she gets pissed when that happens. I could chew the shift handle, but who needs it?
I'll just wait, looking really cool. 

Hey, who's that poodle in the next car?